Observing what you are not
I am the spark of aliveness that is making this body move–the spark that will never die.
Once I began meditating, certain things started making sense–real sense, as in “why didn’t I see this before now?” sense. The basic piece of information I’ve discovered is that “I” am not my body nor my thoughts. “I” am the spark of aliveness that is making this body move–the spark that will never die. “I” am that same spark of aliveness that is in everything that is alive; plants, birds, fish, animals…. everything! “I” am just a brief visitor to Earth and I need a body to be able to experience this life. How we exactly get our bodies is still something I’m learning, but I totally accept the fact that “I” am a spiritual being and my body is part of the Earth. It will perish some day and return to the Earth, but “I” will go on…. WOW!
My mind is also part of my Earthly being, although it’s not part of my body. It seems to want to go its own way most of the time. Think about it: you’re just cruising along, having a wonderful day when all of a sudden !!!!****** @@@ your mind decides it wants to start a horror show, without your permission, of course! Does this sound like something you have control over? Nope. Thoughts have a mind of their own. The only way we can gain any control over our thoughts is to watch them. Watch them and laugh at the ridiculousness of the parade. Thoughts move in an endless parade, you know, moving from one to another to another with seamless precision. Only when we recognize that thoughts don’t belong to us will we be able to have a peaceful mind. I find it interesting that when I started meditating, thoughts were rampant and I could barely stand to close my eyes and be quiet. Once I started observing the thoughts it seemed like they were embarrassed to come out–really! It truly works. (I know these things seem a little “pie in the sky” for us Americans, but sometimes you’ve just got to trust that there’s something out there that you don’t know already.)
How to get past the parade of thoughts? Sit very still and be very quiet. It can be called meditation, but it’s really just the method to still your mind. Observe your thoughts, observe your body, and actually, everything you know should become your objects of observation from now on, from this moment on. If you know your body, then it is not you — you should just observe it. Deep down you should keep telling yourself, “This is not me”. If you observe your mind, if there is a thought that comes, immediately observe it and say, “That is not me, it is external.” Everything that is happening in your mind, in your body, in your thoughts, emotions–everything is external to you.
So now, identify everything that is external to you. Use a pen and paper if you want. Just make a note of everything you can say that is not you. Spend some time with your body. Sit quiet, watch it. Don’t just intellectually watch it. Spend some time. Observe the body. This takes something more than just a “glossed-over” effort, but it’s really important, so it’s worth the genuine effort. When you come to the conclusion, “Okay, I have no control over this body and it is not me,” it will take some time, then you write down body. Then observe your thoughts. Just see if those thoughts are you, or are they just simply happening. And then make a note — thoughts. Similarly, everything external that you observe, just keep watching. Eventually all you will have left is “you”. Then life begins.
Student and Volunteer at Ahamo
Theresa is a retired corporate-manager-turned-organic-farmer who is on her own spiritual journey. She is a student of Avi’s and soaks in every morsel of wisdom possible to help guide her along the path. She dabbles with herbs, plays with bees, loves to do things with her hands, and is very deep into the Inner Revolution of the Ahamo Movement.
Having been on the spiritual path for some time now, she loves guiding new seekers and sharing her personal experiences. She is a warm, compassionate, loving woman who is always ready to help.